'In My Head'

by PAJAH WILLIAMS
Staff writer

Weight shifts from one foot to the other
Palms moisten
Invisible beads of sweat seem to drench your entire t-shirt.
Knees shivering with weakness
Wandering eyes because you don’t know where to direct your gaze
Stuttering speech
You’ve been caught off guard with spontaneous human interaction.
Body tense, a natural response to the persistent fear of being scrutinized
Mind never ceases to assume the worst
 Humiliation, shame, guilt, embarrassment
You’re such an embarrassment. You embarrass yourself more and more each day.
Every step you take. Every moment of eye contact. Everything you do.
It is irrefutable truth that you are physically and socially awkward.
Don’t say that. Don’t speak. Don’t think that. Don’t forget to breath.
Ah, inhale. Exhale – wait what was the question?
“Your name, sir?”
Alas, your mind morphs into a vague tunnel of blackness.
Silence. 
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“It’s-I-hi.”
Palm to face