by STUEY THE DRAGON
I just recently got offered a job at the local hospital as a surgical intern. It is a really stressful working environment to say the least. There is a constant flow of trauma patients in and out of the hospital, most of which are from gruesome accidents. I am starting to see a lot of things I never thought I would see in my life, and I am emotionally drained from it. I get approximately three hours of sleep each night, and most of that is on my work breaks since I am constantly on call. I slept with my boss the night before my first shift and a lot of my coworkers have been getting into terrible accidents, I am starting to lose all sense of emotions because of it. Liquor is the only way I can make it through the day anymore. Stuey, what’s good?
I am not sure if you realize this, but you just described the plot of Grey’s Anatomy. But it’s okay because same.
by STUEY THE DRAGON
My best friends were dating and now they broke up and I feel torn. Both of them want me to spend my time with them and I don’t want to choose sides. This is just creating more drama than necessary. How do I even handle this? Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Third Wheel,
First of all you need to tell your friends to stop being so needy and greedy with your time. You were friends with them before this and you will be friends with both of them after, that being said, you are not their child, they are not your divorced parents, they need to learn to grow up and get over their issues and stop being so greedy. Make sure they know they are making you uncomfortable. Especially when they’re the ones who created this whole hot mess in the first place.
Okay, so there is this really annoying Christian in one of my classes and he is constantly trying to push his religion onto me. He claims to be liberal and always says that he does not believe in forcing religion, yet he is always criticizing me about things I do or say, saying they are “wrong” or “against the Bible.” I am an atheist and do not practice any religion, nor do I try to tell others that theirs is wrong. How do I get this kid to stop? Stuey, what’s good?
If this person is constantly shoving religion down your throat, try talking to him about it. Tell him that you have an issue with this and you do not feel as if he should be pushing his religion onto you. If you do not practice a religion, there is no reason for someone to be pushing it onto you. If a conversation does not work, you may have to resort to yelling. Hopefully he will get the point.
I recently stopped being friends with someone who is involved in the same activities as I am. Talking with other people about this person, I was told that I should forgive this person, but I am having a hard time coming to terms with this. Should I forgive and forget, or should I remain highkey mad? Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Sad Soul,
First off, you do not need to talk to someone just because people tell you to. If you do not want to be friends with someone. First off, you do not need to talk to someone just because people tell you to. If you do not want to be friends with someone, then you do not have to speak to them. That’s that. If they have a problem with that then they can leave. You definitely do not need them that much anyways, really? All you need in life is pizza and Netflix, so keep on ignoring that person and hope that they stop trying.
by STUEY THE DRAGON
My roommate is desperately in love with my best friend, and she does not know how to handle it. He is constantly making inappropriate, crude comments towards her and really makes everyone around uncomfortable. He says he is joking, and that it is all in good fun, but sometimes he takes it too far. Stuey, what’s good?
If your roommate is making others feel as if he is violating them, there is a problem. No one’s “jokes” should continue to the point where people are genuinely feeling uncomfortable. It is one thing to make a few crude jokes every once in a while, but there is a line that people should not cross. I suggest you talk to your roommate about the issue. Tell him that he should try to tone down the crude humor. Maybe suggest him to him that he may be taking it too far without telling him he is making people feel violated. If he does not stop, then you definitely need to tell someone about that, because it is not okay. Talk to your RA, please.
I have been rejecting leggings as pants for years. All through high school, I would sneer at the girls who came to class in yoga pants and leggings. I had somehow convinced myself that I was above them, that I was somehow a better person for wearing jeans. Now that I am in college, I realize that I was wrong and that wearing leggings as pants are life. That being said, I don’t know how to apologize to everybody I hurt by being prejudice against leggings. Stuey, what’s good?
I am sorely disappointed that you are so late to the leggings bandwagon. However, I am so happy that you are now enlightened. Welcome to the dark side. You should just record a video of you flexing your full range of motion and send it out as an apology. Your fellow legging-lovers will understand what you are trying to say and forgive you immediately. You can’t be blamed for your ignorance; all that matters is that you know what is right now.
by STUEY THE DRAGON
Stuey, I honestly do not know what to do. I have been feeling so depressed lately and I have lost all interest in talking to my friends and participating in things I once loved. Everything people do nowadays just irritates me. I do not know why I have been feeling like this or what to do to help me feel better. Stuey, what’s good?
I promise you are not alone; there are people who care about you. If you feel like you want to be alone, just do that. Stay in your room and watch some Netflix. Everyone needs some time to himself to gather his thoughts. This will allow you to figure out what it is that has been bothering you. I promise you that whatever it is that is bothering you is not the end of the world. Take some time to yourself and figure out what is truly bothering you. I promise everyone will understand that you need some space for a while.
by STUEY THE DRAGON
I have a problem where I cannot control my facial expressions when people do something stupid. I try to subtly throw shade, but people keep catching me. I don’t know how to properly throw shade and it not be completely obvious. Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Sorry for my Face,
I get it, throwing shade isn’t for everyone. You cannot make it super obvious because getting caught can make everyone think you are a mean person, which may or may not be true (I don’t know you personally). If you want to learn how to throw shade, you have to practice. Start trying to hold back your facial expressions. You cannot make it too obvious that you are annoyed through your face, unless that’s what you’re going for (again, I don’t know you). Most times, a simple eye-roll is all you need to make it clear that shade has been thrown but still remain subtle. But remember, if the going gets tough, true fighters keep their RBF strong.
Christmas is coming up and all I asked for is to marry Jennifer Lawrence and for the cafeteria to serve better food. I’m not sure which I want more though. Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Hungry and THIRSTY,
Since I don’t know you, I can’t really give you any insight as to which gift you should want more. But I can tell you which one is more plausible, and I think we both know what that is. Jennifer Lawrence. Like let’s be honest. The cafeteria will always be awful, but J-Law never will be.
Finals are freaking me out. Today alone, I stress ate half a bag of Hershey’s kisses. I don’t even HAVE Hershey’s kisses; I don’t even know where they came from. I don’t even know what I’m doing. Please help me. Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Stress Eating,
Honey, I know where you’re coming from and may I just say, it’s okay. I understand. I blacked out and when I woke up, I was surrounded by discount Halloween candy wrappers and 20 more pounds. Finals will be done soon, and you can go home and sleep for 10 days straight. You can do this. I believe in you!
by STUEY THE DRAGON
So my Aunt Betty thinks my hair color is too “interesting” and she wants me to recolor it. I tried explaining that I dyed it to match her “interesting” personality but it didn’t go over very well. Stuey, what’s good?
I don’t know what your hair color is, but I bet it slays, so just keep on doing you. As for Aunt Betty, I’m sure once you mention your CIA boyfriend, she will completely ignore your hair and focus on her surprise that you actually got a boyfriend. So congrats on that. And the job. And the arranged marriage to the billionaire (have you told your boyfriend about that yet?).
My family is being very unsupportive of the Syrian refugees seeking shelter in America. The most unfortunate part is that they aren’t even correct in the things they post on social media. They are uneducated but too ignorant to listen to any actual facts. I am also very disappointed in their heartlessness. Stuey, what’s good?
I am so sorry that your family is refusing to listen to the facts. I understand how difficult that can be to see and listen to when you know it’s wrong. It is (unfortunately) probably not worth it to correct them without creating a civil war within your family. My best suggestion is to mute them so you don’t see what they post. Just keeping being aware of the world. I believe in you.
'Stuey, What's Good?' on growing apart from a best friend, being bullied based on fleeked hair, listening to Christmas music, and getting annoyed
by STUEY THE DRAGON
My BFF is not talking to me, and I've tried to get them to tell me what's wrong. The problem is that we are both really busy, and I don't know how to go about getting them alone. I want to make things right, and I think I know why things are bad. However, I'm not sure. Stuey, what’s good?
Dear I’m losing my BFF,
Juggling both your future career and your personal relationships is definitely a struggle. I suggest planning a time to get together and talk, perhaps over dinner in the cafeteria, because you both have to eat eventually. I completely understand your annoyance with not being able to get them to tell you what’s wrong; however, if the friendship is worth saving, you will work it out. Just have patience and know that everyone makes mistakes (everyone has those days) and forgiveness is a given when your friendship is important to both of you.
Dying my hair fun colors is one of my most favorite things to do. But today when I was discussing what color I want to do next with a friend, the girl sitting next to her told me that I should not do it because it will look hideous. Everyone else I know has told me it will look really pretty, but now I’m scared they were just being nice because they know me. Maybe the rude stranger is the only one being honest with me, and I’m really nervous that if I do it, it will look really ugly. Stuey, what’s good?
The people who are telling you that your hair will look pretty as this new color are your friends right? People you love and trust? People who support you? People who love you and want the best for you? Of course they are, because that’s how friends work. And if they are telling you that you will look remarkable, then you obviously will! Your friends would definitely tell you if you wouldn’t look good, because they would never want you to look bad! So ignore the haters and do what makes you happy. Plus, when your hair comes out looking fabulous, then you can do a killer hair flip in that rude girl’s face.
So I’m getting very annoyed because people keep telling me that I cannot listen to Christmas music until after Thanksgiving. I personally love Christmas and enjoy listening to a lot of the festive songs and watching some holiday films all year round. I usually use headphones, but occasionally I like to listen to music without them. Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Xmas Elsa,
I understand your need to listen to Christmas music all year round. I, too, am a Xmas connoisseur and enjoy the holiday tunes 365 days a year. If people have a problem with this, just tell them to take their Ebenezer Scrooge selves somewhere else, because obviously they are feeling some type of way towards you, and you do not need that negativity in your life. You just be your festive, yuletide-loving self and keep decking the halls as much as you want. Stay beautiful, you little Buddy the Elf, you.
Okay, so I am trying to be a nicer person, because I was sort of a pessimistic downer in my past, but people keep trying me. I get annoyed very easily and have been working on this for the past few years. I have gotten myself to a point where I can remove myself from situations that annoy me, but recently people have been making rude comments about me and my friends. I want to say something but do not want people to think I am just being rude back and “stooping” to their level. Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Closet Pessimist,
It is great to hear that you are working on yourself, and I hope that you continue to work on bettering your negative attitude. If people are making rude comments about you and your friends, it is not out of anyone’s character to put them in their places. You can still confront these people without being rude. There is no reason people should be making comments about others in this manner, and you should definitely do something about this. If people think you are being rude, just remember that you did the right thing by sticking up for yourself and the people you care about. Do not let people walk all over you.
by STUEY THE DRAGON
Every day, I go by unnoticed and invisible, but there is an upcoming event where it would be okay for me to make more of a statement and be noticed. For one night, I just want everyone to acknowledge me, I know that sounds selfish and dumb, but I just want to be hot. But since I never dress up, I don’t know if I should or not. What if I’m not good at it? Stuey, what’s good?
If you want to make yourself noticed, do it. You should allow yourself to be fabulous, especially if the situation calls for it. As for fearing your fashion sense, just Pinterest it up. Everything in style right now is definitely on Pinterest, for any (and every) occasion imaginable. And there is nothing selfish or dumb for wanting to have some attention for one night. Go slay the competition, baby; I believe in you.
I need to pull an all nighter. What is the best way to go about doing this? Help me Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Triple Swag,
Grab yourself about ten of your favorite caffeinated beverage and some good tunes to dance break to, because you are in for a long night. Every 45 minutes to an hour, you need to get up and give your eyes a break; listen to some music as you hop around like a bunny or dance (I suggest interpretive dancing to “Hello” by Adele for obvious reasons). But just stay focused, the sooner you finish the sooner you can get some sleep! Best of luck to you, fam, you got this.
I have a major issue. I recently fell into a major addiction that I cannot get out of. This issue is truly affecting my relationships and causing a rift between me and my friends. No one wants to be around me because they do not want to get addicted, as well. I honestly do not know what to do. How do I stop listening to “Hello” by Adele? Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Fellow Adele Lover,
If people have a problem with you listening to one of the most iconic pieces of musical artistry since Britney Spears’ “Oops I Did It Again,” then they are not your real friends. Real friends will love, adore, and sing along by your side. But just in case, try using some headphones.
I am beginning to develop seriously bad eating habits. I am a very picky eater and it is very hard for me to find food to eat in the cafeteria. I have lost a lot of weight and am starting to get worried. Stuey, what’s good?
This is a completely normal problem to have. Many people new to this campus, or any college campus have a similar issue when it comes to food. The best advice I can give you is to stock up on some cheap, easy meals in your dorm. Easy Mac and Top Ramen are lifesavers. Then whenever you do go in the caf, just try some new foods: you never know what you will like. If anything, there is always pizza and applesauce.
I have this kind of great but really stupid idea. Should I do it for the Vine? Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Vine Famous,
by STUEY THE DRAGON
My housemates are constantly making comments about the girls I bring over. They believe that guys and girls cannot be just friends and I am always making a move on these women. How do I stop my housemates from thinking I am a huge player? Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Not a Player,
First off, if your housemates do not believe that guys and girls can be friends then you need to officially welcome them to the year 2015. If they still give you problems and stand by the fact that you are forcing yourself upon these women, then you should tell them to mind their own business. Let’s be honest, if people are constantly belittling you about this situation, they are below your level of intelligence and need to mature. Try finding a different spot to hang out that is void of this simple-minded negligence.
So the people I share a wall with always have girls over. The noises are always violent and the girls complain of falling off the bed. I’m not sure if what they are hosting is Fight Club or Title IX. And I can’t ask because of the first rule of Fight Club. Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Fight Club > Title IX,
I’m going to assume it’s Fight Club since I really don’t see a situation where an unwilling girl would ever be in a position to fall off the bed.
I really like this girl, she’s incredibly beautiful and smart and sweet and funny and basically perfect. The only problem is that she likes country music. And not just any country music, because I can handle Cash just fine, and Chesney if I must. The problem is that she likes country rap. Did you know the acronym for this is literally CRAP? Country rap = c-rap = crap. I just don’t know if I can date her if I have to listen to Colt Ford rap another verse of country girls serving chicken and biscuits. Stuey, what’s good?
Dear Sick of Her CRAP,
Get in your car, drive to Canada, in the orange corner store 37 minutes outside of Ontario you will meet a guy named Sam. Sam will give you your new identity and tickets to England. You will be safe in the UK, there is no CRAP there. But honestly, you need to get out of that before you find yourself humming Florida Georgia Line (the gateway country drug to CRAP). Nobody deserves that kind of disgusting nonsense in their life. Save yourself. No person is worth that CRAP.
by STUEY THE DRAGON
A friend of mine has recently expressed feelings for me, but I don’t feel the same way. Stuey, what’s good?
Dear I Don’t Want That,
If you don’t feel the same way, you should definitely tell your friend that you don’t have the same feelings for them. It would be unfair to both you and them to lead them on by not immediately letting them know how you feel.
But just because you don’t have romantic feelings for them, that doesn’t mean that you two can’t remain friends. Let them know that you value your friendship a lot and that you don’t want that to change. Eventually, they will probably get over you. It’s not like you’re Beyoncé.
So I said something rude about one of my friends but did not mean anything by it. She took offense. I tried to apologize, but she will not accept it. Stuey, what’s good?
Dear I’m Not Rude I Promise,
If you truly did not mean anything by your statement then you need to make sure she knows that. Explain to her what you meant and that you did not mean to be rude or offend her in any way.
If this person does not accept your apology, then that is her problem. All you can do to try and solve this issue is to continue being nice to them. Do not go out of your way to make her feel better or try to make her forgive you. If you truly did not mean to be rude, she will eventually come around.